Just over a month since she was brutally assaulted by her boyfriend, Amish Mafia star Esther Schmucker opened up about the ordeal in her first one-on-one interview following the attack.
Sitting down with Lancaster Online, the 27-year-old reality star admitted it wasn't the first time aspiring rapper Imir R. "Mirkat" Williams had beaten her.
"I didn't realize I was in an abusive relationship," she said.
"I hear people say, 'Oh, well, it's her fault, she shouldn't have stayed with him," she added. "That's exactly what I would have said before it happened to me."
In the early morning hours of Halloween, Williams severely beat his girlfriend and left her with several extensive injuries, including a broken cheekbone, broken nose, several brusies on her face, and broken teeth.
Schmucker said she remembers Williams "lunging" at her before she "blacked out" and woke up on her bed, covered in blood.
Brett Hambright, the reporter who sat down with Schmucker, noted how she has healed, but pointed out that she is now speaking with a slight lisp as an after-affect from the broken cheekbone, and still has a small lump under her eye.
Williams has been charged with misdemeanor assault and misdemeanor stalking in the attack, and is currently being held in prison on $250,000 bail.
Schmucker also said that her fame from the Discovery Channel show has allowed her to help raise awareness about abusive relationships through her own struggles.
"If I wouldn't have a show, nobody would know," she said. "There are millions of women that go through this everyday and no one knows about them. You try to convince yourself that it will change. It's not going to get better."
"I lost who I was because of him. I will not let this define who I am as a person," she added. "[He] had the ultimate control. But (he's) not going to take my spirit away."
Schmucker intends to return for the show's third season, though her scenes have been temporarily stalled while she continues to heal.
Amish Mafia returns to Discovery Channel in 2014.