Billie Eilish Has Suicide Thoughts at 16: 'I Didn't Think I'd Make It to 17'

Fame affects celebrities in so many ways. For someone who started in the industry young like Billie Eilish, the fame and pressure got into her and made her think of taking her life away.

Eilish just swooned the internet and the music industry when it was announced that she raked in a total of six nominations for this year's 62nd Academy Awards.

Out of six titles, the 17-year-old singer made a massive impact after she gained nominations in the top four categories: Album of the Year, Song of the Year, Record of the Year and Best New Artist.

For what it is worth, Eilish is the youngest person to be nominated in all the aforementioned awards at once.

To complete her record, she is also nominated for Best Pop Vocal Album and Best Pop Solo Performance for "When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?" and "Bad Guy," respectively.

However, behind all the success, she revealed that she once got previously overwhelmed by the fame that she almost tried to end her own life.

Suicidal Billie?

During her appearance on "The Gayle King Grammy Special" on Thursday, the "When The Party's Over" hitmaker divulged a secret she kept for a long time as a teen.

According to Eilish, despite all the acknowledgements she has received, she was unhappy. Her friend who cannot keep up with her fame left her, leaving her depressed.

"I was so unhappy, and I was so like, joyless," she told Gayle on the CBS special. "I don't want to be too dark, but I genuinely didn't think I'd make it to 17."

The 65-year-old TV personality felt curious that she asked the young singer if she ever thought of truly doing it.

In response, Eilish recalled the time she stayed in a hotel in Berlin and stood behind her room's window.

"God, I remember crying because I was thinking about how ...the way that I was gonna die was that I was gonna do it," Eilish emotionally remembered.

Eilish Left a Hint?

The interview went on and Gayle took the chance to ask about the meaning behind the lyrics "I wanna end me" since the chief anchor felt that the singer was talking about herself through the song.

"It also rhymed," Eilish said as she admitted that she had been singing about herself. 

However, all her thoughts faded away after she thought of her mother, Maggie Baird.

Maggie, upon learning her daughter's sufferings, got Eilish into therapy and started to reduce her schedule and refused invitations for the singer on her behalf.

With that support she received from her mother, Gayle noted that the singer, who turned 18 last month, successfully made it to 17.

Eilish's Most Toxic Relationship

In the same interview, Billie revealed another bombshell fact about her health.

Before Eliish's career took off, she was diagnosed with Tourette's Syndrome when she was 11. Apparently, she still suffers from violent convulsions until now.

"No one knows, but if you spend all day with me, and you sleep in the same bed with me, it's intense the entire night," Elish said before opening up that her relationship with her body is the most toxic ever.

READ MORE: Halsey Speaks On Billie Eilish's Record-Breaking Grammy Nomination: 'She is Unstoppable!'  

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