Vicky Pattison becomes emotional as she shares her life story and how she fears that she might end up like her dad, who's an alcoholic.

"I thought I was always going to end up my dad's daughter, but this programme gave me a bit of hope," she said.

Pattison reveals that she grew up in an environment where she believed that her childhood memories are all normal. 

"I thought houses were loud and noisy and sometimes quite scary - and a lot of houses aren't," she added. 

READ MORE: Real Housewives of Orange County' Welcomes Taylor Armstrong: Role Still Unclear 

She also recalls how a young Vicky would definitely disagree in drinking alcohol,"I would have said, there's no way I'm ending up like my dad and I hate [the fact] that was in my mind that young."

Pattison made her name as a party girl on Geordie Shore in her mid-20s - a reality show which, from its first series in 2011, became infamous for its boozy nights out which she said she is not proud of adding that she realized she had a problem with alcohol as she used it to settle her nerves. 

"I think everyone assumed that I was riding high and having a good time and I was, but I felt so undeserving, like imposter syndrome," she said. 

She also opened that she has a complicated relationship with alcohol, saying she had an underlying problem.

Pattison  also revealed that her mum, Caroll, found watching the show difficult as her mother didn't recognize the person she [Pattison] had become.

Pattison is now worried about the harm her excessive drinking has done to her body and worries that she will inevitably develop alcoholism and her future children will inherit the same genes.

Since she witnessed his dad's journey and the relapse he experienced. As to helping him, she even tried to talk to his father in seeking professional help because his addiction hurts Pattison.

Meanwhile, Pattison shares how her fiance, Ercan Ramadan help her in fighting her will to drink just to calm her nerves.

She said "..He's exactly what I need, he provides me with a sense of calm." 

Pattison added that her reason for drinking alcohol is because she is "neurotic" and whenever she  drinks, it relaxes her until Ercan comes along and changes her routine. "He makes it feel like it's OK to be totally myself," she said.

Pattinson stated that she and her partner are planning to get married after he proposed to her in Dubai during a sunset in February.

READ ALSO: Big Joanie Explores the Meaning of 'HOME' In Their Upcoming ALBUM 

Tags: Vicky Pattison alcoholism