Shannon Beador isn't so sure that documenting her weight struggles on The Real Housewives of Orange County was the best idea.

In a new blog, Beador admits to having regrets about filming as she's forced to defend her holistic trainer, Tim Ramirez.

"Before I even dive in to discuss my visit to Dr. Tim’s, I have to begin by saying he is nothing but the most positive influence and a huge support on my journey to better health," she wrote. "We have been good friends for the last five years and have the type of relationship where he can say 'wow' when I expose my weight gain. It didn't bother me at all because he was stating the truth, and the truth is exactly what I needed to finally start motivating myself to change. He has been nothing but an amazing cheerleader for me in a time when I was constantly down on myself."

After the episode aired, Ramirez experienced allegations of being to harsh with the reality star. That said, his comments have been motivating for Beador throughout her hard times.

"Watching the scene with Dr. Tim was very difficult. Hearing my actual weight and body fat percentage made it really sink in," she explained. "I never thought that I would be having a conversation with anyone about my high body fat and being at serious risk for major health concerns. I need to be around for my children and the family I fought so hard to keep together. 172 pounds??? I never imagined I would see a 150 in my lifetime, let alone a 160 or 170."

To see more of Shannon Beador and her co-stars, tune into new episodes of The Real Housewives of Orange County season 12 on Monday nights at 9 p.m. on Bravo TV.