Liam Payne Admits to Suffering Severe 'Suicidal Ideation,' Shares 'Pills-and-Booze Face' Moments During One Direction Era
Former One Direction singer Liam Payne speaks up about his severe mental health condition during a podcast.
The 27-year old "Strip That Down" singer revealed on Monday's episode of "The Diary of a CEO" podcast with Steven Bartlett that the combination of fame, alcohol, and drugs brought him to "rock bottom" while he was still with his bandmates Louis, Zayn, Harry, and Niall.
According to People, the five British teenagers went on to become the biggest boyband in the world, and detailed his mental health struggles to the pressures of being one of the most prominent groups at that time where they peaked at a young age after joining "X-Factor."
Payne described the time before they disbanded as a group as "wild," as he shared that they were typically unable even to leave their hotel rooms where he delved himself in alcohol.
Liam Payne Claims Having His "Rock Bottom" Despite Huge Fame In the 2010s
"I was worried how far my rock bottom was going to be. Where's rock bottom for me? And you would never have seen it. I'm very good at hiding it," Payne told host Stephen Bartlett.
The singer was also asked if these down moments also included "suicidal ideation," and he replied, "Yeah. There is some stuff that I have definitely never, never spoken about. It was really, really, really severe. It was a problem. And it was only until I saw myself after that I was like 'Right, I need to fix myself.'"
After that, he also recalled how there were a few pictures of him on a boat where he was all bloated, describing it as his "pills-and-booze face." "My face was just like ten times more than it is now. I just didn't like myself very much, and then I made a change."
One Direction Finds "Pills-And-Booze" As A Way To Get Over Own Problems
The interview goes on as he claimed that at a certain point, he thought, 'Well, I'm going to have a party for one,' and considered it as something he just seemed to carry throughout his career.
"And then you look back at how long you've been drinking, and it's 'Jesus Christ, that's a long time,' even for someone who was as young as I was," he said. The singer and producer continued that it was the only way they could get through frustration on any day.