In his new memoir, Facing the Music and Living to Talk About It, Nick Carter finally opened up about his sister, Leslie Carter, who died of a prescription drug overdose at the age of 25 last January.
In the book, Nick revealed he feels guilty for being a bad role model.
"The other kids in my family looked up to me, and when they saw me partying and getting into trouble, they figured that’s how they should act too," he wrote. "I didn't take my responsibility as their role model seriously enough."
"People have asked why I didn’t intervene and send her to rehab," he revealed. "But for rehab to work you have to be ready to heal yourself. … [And] as much as I wanted to help Leslie and my other siblings overcome their problems, I was wary of getting in too deep with them because I had my own challenges."
In January 2012, Leslie was found dead from an overdose of several prescription drugs. Shockingly, the family blamed Nick.
"Some members of my family were blaming me for her death. It hurt me so badly to hear them say things like that. It really stung me," he said, adding he is sad he didn't attend her funeral.
"Some were saying that if I had been there for her, she wouldn't have died … I did intend to go to Leslie’s funeral. I wanted to see my sister for the last time. I wanted to say goodbye to her that day, yet I also knew I had an obligation to take care of myself," he said.
He continued, "When I spoke with the family members organizing the services and they unloaded on me like that, I just knew I couldn't be there. I got sick talking to them. I was crying, lying on the floor in the bathroom for two hours. I was so upset; I couldn't go up there to our mother’s place because I didn't want to be around all that negativity. My body and mind couldn’t have taken it."