Amy Schumer has had her fair share of bad romance experiences, but this one might take the cake.
Schumer went on a Paris vacation with boyfriend Ben Hanisch this past September and it didn't exactly go well. The couple wound up getting a bad case of food poisoning, which manifested in a rather graphic fashion in their hotel room.
The comedian appeared on The Ellen DeGeneres Show in Monday's episode and told the host of her horrific experience.
"Neither of us had ever been to France, because we're both trash," Schumer quipped to host Ellen DeGeneres. "We were like, 'let's go, it's going to be so romantic.' And we were in one of those hotels where the bathroom, if someone goes like, (coughs), you can hear it through the whole room. You can hear everything. And both of us got violent food poisoning. Violent. And it hits him first, and he's just in there...and the way it manifested itself in me...basically I was just in there just, how do I say this?"
Schumer then proceeded to squat over her chair and make machine gun noises as she explained, "Machine gun! And I knew it was over. I was like yelling at him, 'It was so great dating you. I wish you the best luck, you're going to meet the greatest girl.' I just knew. I knew it was over. No one can make it through that. And then I thought, 'I'm just going to be the one with that end,' and he's going back in there and putting his head where I...under a year we've been together. And so he hears me grab the trash. Both ends I'm going. I was like the fountain on Friends. And that is when I learned to never throw up in a wicker basket."
Luckily, Schumer and Hanisch recovered, but she did end up having to go to the hospital, as she hilariously captured in an Instagram video in September. And in case you were wondering, Schumer told DeGeneres that "we're still together!"
However, it's safe to assume that Schumer and Hanisch probably won't be visiting Paris again anytime soon.