Billie Eilish Makes Stunning Confession About Her 'Lowest Point,' The Dark Side of Fame
Despite Billie Eilish's numerous Grammy awards and growing popularity in the entertainment industry, she admitted that the fame and her mental health issues sent her to dark places.
The 18-year-old revealed in an interview that she was worried about having a public breakdown while on tour in 2019.
In her tour "Where Do We Go?" -- which sold more than 500,000 tickets in North and South America and Europe -- Eilish opened up about reaching a breaking point and fearing an intense public meltdown.
While the "Bad Guy" singer realized that stardom is everything she ever wanted, she learned that fame has its drawbacks.
"Last year, when I was at my lowest point during the tour in Europe, I was worried I was going to have a breakdown and shave my head," Eilish said, referencing to Britney Spears' bombshell moment where she shaved her head in front of dozens of photographers and quickly becoming the tabloid's favorites.
Eilish initially questioned why stars acted out despite seemingly having everything.
"As a fan growing up, I was always like, 'What the f--- is wrong with them?' All the scandals. The Britney moment. You grow up thinking they're pretty and they're skinny; why would they f--- it up?" she said in the interview.
However, the "When The Party Is Over" hitmaker realized why celebrities had to act out. SAhe pointed out how being in the darkest places in her life taught her that being a celebirty is not what it looks like in the outside -- to fans and critics alike.
"But the bigger I get, the more I'm like, 'OMG, of course, they had to do that. In my dark places, I've worried that I was going to become the stereotype that everybody thinks every young artist becomes, because how can they not?" Eilish explained.
The Grammy-winning singer is gracing the March cover of Vogue Magazine, and she talked about her background and what her childhood was like.
According to the article, since she grew up with "little money," she brushed and bridled horses at the San Pascual Stables in South Pasadena where her parents also worked. This meant that "rich girls" receive her differently in her classes.
Eilish said though she was never bullied, "you can tell somebody doesn't like you" since she has an "entire childhood" of that.
The teenage artist even said that if she meets fans and they were both 11 years old, the fan would have hated her.
Billie said she started writing about depressing songs at the age of 11 years old, but not because she was sad at that time. As she grew older, she became more unhappy and joyless that she believed at one point she would not make it past 17 years old.
During her childhood, Billie and her brother Finneas spent their time writing songs together.
In one of her old songs "Why Not," she wrote about killing herself. In it, she wrote "if she killed herself, everything would be the same" because the "stars would still shine, and the sun would still come out."
Explaining more about the song, Eilish clarified she felt "happy and never felt suicidal and did not want to feel that way." However, she enjoys writing the idea of a song something she "didn't know about."
Eilish and her brother wrote together mega-hits like "Bury a Friend," which tells a story of a monster hiding under the bed. She insisted, however, there is nothing unusual about her music since the stories she tell through her music can become real as well.
She believes that all of her music idols use the technique when creating their music, saying that "there's a difference between lying in a song and writing a story."
Billie Eilish said that she is currently focusing on her mental health and is even trying to help fans who are also struggling.