Demi Lovato didn’t hold back when she shared the ins and outs of her life in her highly anticipated documentary, Demi Lovato: Simply Complicated.

In fact, it might be difficult to get a hold on everything the former Disney star has experienced at such a young age. For starters, she confirmed that she first tried Cocaine when she just 17. She was still a Disney star on the hit series Sonny With a Chance. And despite her mother telling her she could die, she “did it anyway.”

“I loved it. I felt out of control with the coke the first time I did it.”

She revealed that her father was also addicted to drugs and alcohol.

She also confirmed that her friends, The Jonas Brothers, attempted to help her. Intersetingly enough, she was dating Joe Jonas and Nick Jonas was knd of caught in the middle.

“I was playing the bridge,” Nick said. “It became really good between she and I for a while, growing closer than we’ve ever been. I remember thinking in my head I felt a little pride abou tit, like selfishly maybe I was helping her [get] back to the being the Demi we know and love. ‘She’s not going to do anything crazy. She’ll be fine,’” he said. “And then the episode [involving Alex ‘Shorty’ Welch] happened.” The incident was marked by Lovato hitting Welch on a plane just before she checked into rehab. Apparently she Welch for telling on her for throwing a party.

Still, rehab didn’t stick in her first go-around. She admitted to a near-death experience that consisted of her mixing Cocaine with Xanax. She said she would even do interviews about being sober while she was high.

“It’s embarrassing to look back at the person I was,” she said.

Along with rehab, Lovato was also in a psych ward for a period of time.

As for her her love life, she said she’s still has love for her ex-boyfriend, actor Wilmer Valderrama.

“I’ve never loved anybody like I loved Wilmer and I still love him.”

The two broke up in the summer of 2016 after dating for almost six years.

“The sparks never faded, but there are issues that I haven’t conquered yet that I know I won’t conquer if I’m relying on somebody else to take care of the loneliness. I just wasn’t ready and there was so much in my life that I hadn’t explored yet…That was one of the reasons we broke up, because I’ve never been alone.”

She said she’s still not sure if that was best for them.

The full documentary premiered on YouTube earlier this week. Check it out below.